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Vol. 1, No. 2 -- October, 1997
SHATTERED HEARTS Archive of Past Issues

Psychopaths: New Trends in Research

By Robert D. Hare (c)1995 The Harvard Mental Health Letter, September 1995

Public concern about crime has never been greater. Perhaps most troubling are seemingly senseless and dispassionate acts of violence, particularly those committed by young people. In a frantic search for understanding, we readily blame upbringing, poverty, flawed environment, or an ineffective criminal justice system. All these may be important, but we tend to ignore another part of the picture: the enormous social, economic, and personal suffering inflicted by a few people whose antisocial attitudes and behavior result less from social forces than from an inherent sense of entitlement and an incapacity for emotional connection to the rest of humanity. For these individuals - psychopaths - social rules have no constraining force, and the idea of a common good is merely a puzzling and inconvenient abstraction.

Psychopaths use charm, manipulation, intimidation, and violence to control others and satisfy


DSM-IV on Abusive Personalities

doll.JPGAntisocial Personality Disorder. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Psychopathic tendencies. Crazy.

These are all terms that you will hear the professionals to the layperson use when discussing the person that is abusive in a cultic relationship or even the cult leader. Just what do these terms mean? How do these descriptions actually compare to the person that is abusive? The following excerpts from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition (DSM-IV) have been provided as a reference point.

For me, the DSM-IV was helpful as a research tool. I found the disorder descriptions explained what I went through at the hands of my abuser. I was also finally allowed the opportunity to look outside of blaming myself for what happened in the relationship. That as a general rule the abuser has some serious issues that need to be addressed via the medical profession, not through undying love and devotion.


Psychological & Sexual Abuse in a Cultic Relationship

continued from previous issue
Dove"How can I control thee? Let me count the ways..."

I really feel like I'm caught up in a Shakespeare play -- a dark comedy at best. A satire of the human condition at worst.

These next two chapters are the turning point for me in my relationship with my former romantic partner. This is where I finally hide into the dark recesses of my Self. Not to come forth for at least seven years later.

I now bring you to the middle of the trip with him. The next issue of Shattered Hearts will be the end of the book that he wrote. As with any Shakespeare play, all does not end when the curtain closes. Human tragedy plays out well after the last member of the audience leaves....

The book that follows, written by my former romantic partner, is copied in its entirety, spelling and grammar errors are the author's and are not edited. I have changed the names of all person's involved in this trip for their own privacy. The only names that are not altered are his and mine. The additional commentary regarding the book are copyrighted to Pamela Fitzpatrick, unless otherwise specified. Furthermore, the commentary written by Pamela Fitzpatrick is supplied for research purposes only to the copyrighted document written by him.

Article temporarily under construction due to threatened legal action. continued....

Growing Up F--ked in Maharishiville


hand.JPG Annie's story is what happens to a child when a community turns their back on her.

As a society, we will see more and more of these lost children when they walk away from these groups as adults. All these children know is the group and the abuse. They are not taught how to be self sufficient or to be a part of the world as we know it. All they know is the group.

Most abusive groups even have programs set up to condition the children to the mindset of the group. Just to teach the children to conform to what their parents are now. The children are isolated from others, possibly allowed to feel more special then the other children, even being told to shun those that do not conform to the group thinking.

Read and learn. And hopefully you will not turn your back when something isn't quite right with the children in your community.

"Annie's Story"

A Mother Leaves a Cult for Her Daughter


ring.JPGJane Greene's testimony provided here is a compelling look at what happens in a destructive group. Keep in mind that the type of choices that Jane made are happening in many groups, not just this particular one.

Look for the seminars or programs that are directed towards young people. Programs that do not allow contact with other youth groups or school functions. Programs that tend to keep the children busy with "like minded" individuals.

I am aware that this definition could include rather mainstream organizations but the questions to ask yourself is, do you also provide other social outlets for your children? Or is the organization the only source of social outlet for you and your children?

What Jane became removed from, her education and her child is a very common theme among those of us that are recovering from a cult involvement.

If you are watching this happen to someone that you love or care about -- keep in contact. Do not confront the people. Be informative about world events in casual conversation. Arrange family outings to the park or just walks with the family or even a dinner. Some rather simple ideas but ones that can keep a family in a destructive group involved in the outside world.

"Testimony of Jane Greene"

From the
Editor's Desk


sun.JPGAnniversaries. Times to celebrate joy and happiness. Gathering of friends and family. Sharing of memories and good times.

To those of us that were involved in cultic relationships anniversaries take on a whole new meaning. Sometimes in ways that we don't even realize. In my case, I discovered one of mine while working on this issue.

I have treated the month of September as a personal joke for the past 7 years or so. Just always seemed like there was something chaotic going on. Like moves, job changes, or heartbreak.

Wasn't until I was working on the next installment of "Welcome to My Nightmare" that I made what I now call the September Connection.

September. The month that the trip occurred. Twelve years ago this month.





star.JPGThis is your place to tell me what you would like to see in future issues, discuss what has worked for you in your recovery process and let me know if I did good (hey, it's nice to know!)

I also would like this to be a place for what isn't getting discussed regarding cultic relationships -- how you feel if you are seeing your loved one in such a relationship. Or share with us what is working. All postings will be anonymous if you request and will not be stored/saved once posted.

These are just some ideas to get us started here. Email me at Pam Fitzpatrick

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Have you or someone you know ever experienced the following by a boyfriend, husband or intimate partner?

  • name-calling or put-downs

  • isolation from family or friends

  • withholding of money

  • actual or threatened physical harm

  • sexual assault

These are examples of domestic violence, which includes partner violence, family violence, spouse abuse, child abuse, battering, and wife beating.

This violence takes many forms, and can happen once in a while or all the time. Although each situation is different, there are common warning signs - "red flag" behaviors - to look out for, including those behaviors listed above (see Section 4 for a list). Knowing these signs is an important step in preventing and stopping violence.

In this booklet, we will focus on domestic violence as partner violence, defined as violent or controlling behavior by a person toward a partner, usually a wife, girlfriend, or lover. Although the partner is the primary target, violence is often directed toward children as well, and sometimes toward family members, friends, and even bystanders in attempts to control their partner.

Approximately 95 percent of the victims of domestic violence are women. However, violence also happens in both gay and lesbian relationships. and in a small number of cases, by women against men. 4. Warning List This list identifies a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by batterers and abusive people. All of these forms of abuse, psychological, economic, and physical - come from the batterer's desire for power and control. The list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship. check off those behaviors that apply to the relationship. The more checks on the page, the more dangerous the situation may be. Emotional and Economic Attacks *Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse: Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures. *Pressure Tactics: Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping" and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do. *Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth"); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using "logic." *Disrespect: Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family. *Abusing Trust: Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous. *Breaking Promises: Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with child care or housework. *Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions. *Minimizing, Denying & Blaming: Making Light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it. *Economic Control: Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies. * Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss).. * Isolation: Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go.. * Harassment: Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked.. Acts of Violence * Intimidation: Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly.. * Destruction: Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things.. * Threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others.. * Sexual Violence: Degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts.. * Physical Violence: Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others; Slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shoots; etc.. * Weapons: Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love.. from "Domestic Violence: The Facts" - A Handbook to STOP violence (courtesy of Peace At Home (formerly Battered Women Fighting Back), Boston)

Cults come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Categories of cults that are recruiting successfully today include:

Eastern meditation: characterized by belief in God-consciousness, becoming one with God. The leader usually distorts and Eastern-based philosophy or religion. Members sometimes learn to disregard worldly possessions and may take on an ascetic lifestyle. Techniques used: meditation, repeated mantras, altered states of consciousness, trance states.

Religious: marked by belief in salvation, afterlife, sometimes combined with an apocalyptic view. The leader reinterprets the Scriptures and often claims to be a prophet if not the messiah. Often the group is strict, sometimes using physical punishments such as paddling and birching, especially on children. Members are encouraged to spend a great deal of time proselytizing. (Note: included here are Bible-based neo-Christian and other religious cults, many considered syncretic since they combine beliefs and practices). Techniques used: speaking in tongues, chanting, praying, isolation, lengthy study sessions, many hours spent evangelizing, "struggle" (or criticism) and confession sessions.

Political, racist, terrorist: fueled by belief in changing society, revolution, overthrowing the "enemy" or getting rid of evil forces. The leader professes to be all-knowing and all-powerful. Often the group is armed and meets in secret with coded language, handshakes, and other ritualized practices. Members consider themselves an elite cadre ready to go to battle. Techniques used: paramilitary training, reporting on one another, guilt, fear, struggle sessions, instilled paranoia, long hours of indoctrination. -- Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, Lalich and Tobias, Hunter House, 1993.