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Chapter 4 of 7

The chapter will document the consequences for the meditator which rise during the practice of T.M. The meditation experiences bring about in most cases a change in the perception of reality, particularly in the context of the T.M. organization. This has consequences both for the personality structure and the personal life of the meditator. A drastic alteration in the field of social intercourse becomes clear to the onlooker, as well as such changes occurring in school and career performance. Also documented are changes in the mental and physical health of the meditator.

4.1. EFFECTS IN TERMS OF EXPERIENCES DURING MEDITATION

4.1.2 COURSES OFFERED

Table 9: Courses taken. (more than one answer possible)

Table 10: Length of meditation after taking courses

During the courses themselves meditation lasted 2-8 hours daily, according to the ex-meditators. In three cases a daily meditation quota of over 8 hours was reported. This affects the length of meditation for the individual after the course has ended. The longer period of meditation (for the individual) is already incorporated in the course, so that the T.M. leadership, as a rule, will not have to expressly indicate the longer desired period. In spite of this, six meditators report, that after a course they took, The course directors recommended a time for meditation longer than 2 x 20 minutes daily. In this way (53%, 33) meditated longer than one hour daily; i.e. significantly longer than is officially recommended and admitted by the movement. That this is a deliberate process is shown by the reports of the six meditators and also by the length of the sidhi program, which takes 2 - 4 hours to complete daily. In the group of married partners, 50% (4) meditate longer than 1 hour, in the group of ex- meditators, 14% (4). This can lead to great changes in the general life of the meditator, especially when the length of meditation increases to 4, 6 or more than 8 hours daily. This appears to be the case with sidhas, T.M. teachers and governors. Of these three groups, 20% meditated up to 2 hours, 25% up to 4 hours, 22% up to 6 hours, and one for more than 8 hours daily. In comparison to that the "ordinary meditators", 88.5% meditate for the official time of 2 x 20 minutes, 4% meditate up to 2 hours and likewise 4% up to 4 hours daily.

Table 11: Who paid for the courses taken? (more than one answer possible).

The table shows that in approximately half the cases, the cost was met by the person "out of his own pocket", and in the other half the money was received from parents or from an inheritance. Loans or work in the T.M. movement were also available, work which would then make the person eligible to take the course.

Examples:

"The courses were paid for with housekeeping money, from our joint bank account, and salary. " (3/42)

"He used my money (married partner) and spent all of my inheritance." (3/42)

"He sold all the furniture in the apartment to get money for T.M. He borrowed money from strangers and acquaintances, and also probably from people who he himself had initiated. He talked about them having made a gift of it to him." (3/42)

It must not have been very easy for meditators to get the immense sums of money required to take further courses and to experience the supposedly deeper meditation experiences, On the average, each meditator spent 17,322 German marks [roughly $22,700] (5,003 [$6,600]) for the T.M. organization, or made it available to them as a gift. (The number in brackets indicates the middle value, which does not take into account the extremely high or extremely low contributions.)

It is characteristic that married partners were at the top of the spending league with 37,625 German marks [$49,400] (9,000 marks[$11,800]), followed by the parent group, whose children on average spent 26,139 marks [$34,300] (10,500 marks [$13,800]. The ex-meditators spent 3,469 marks [$4,600] (1,498 marks [$2,000]) on courses. The married partners group often make their share of the outcome of divorce proceeding (itself caused by T.M.) available to the T.M, movement. The amount on occasions reached 100,000 marks [$131,300] The following table shows the amounts spent by the meditators involved in this investigation.

Table 12: Financial outlay of meditators for T.M. (in [1980] marks)

Here is also the typical phenomenon, that the "ordinary meditators" only in a rare case spent more than 1,000 - 2,000 marks [$1,300 - $2,600], whereas the "insiders" (sidhas, T. M. teachers, governors) in 56% of cases spent more than 6,000 marks [$7,900].

4.1.5 EXPERIENCES DURING COURSES

Whoever makes himself available in terms of his work and meditation, works that much more effectively for his own evolution.

4.1.6 COMMITMENT TOWARDS T.M. MOVEMENT

Table 13: How much time spent at T.M.?

As the table shows, 12% (8) did only meditation and 15% (10) only courses. The other 73% (43) were more closely involved with the T.M. movement, 8% (5) part-time and 32% (21) full-time. According to statements made during interviews, work was done in the center itself, as well as putting up posters, distributing pamphlets, writing letters to politicians or to the papers, or furnishing a new center etc. As well as these activities were the weekly meetings with meditators and the group meditations. Full-time workers are usually T.M. teachers and governors, who are in charge of a local center or work in a "forest academy" on a regional level. (The differences between Group 1 [parents] and Group 2 [ex-meditators] are explained, at least in part, by the fact that most of the T.M. teachers and governors are in Group 1 [parents].)

Asked why they spent so much time at T.M., each meditator gave personal, religious, and inter-subjective reasons for doing the practice, all of which, however, were based on and sprang from T.M. theory and practice.

Examples:

"It was necessary for his fulfillment." (2/44)

"I needed it as a life-support." (3/44)

"He said that he would help mankind through his meditation. The state could take care of the family. When he wanted to go to Seelisburg for a year, the T.M. people said that my husband was burdened physically and mentally with the large family; he needed a year's rest." (3/44)

"T.M. brings world peace!" (3/44)

"In 1980 I wished to bring Hamburg to 1% enlightenment." (2/44)

"There was no question about it. It was good, proper and important." (2/44)

It can be seen from these answers to a certain degree how a changing in the perception of the world begins to occur. In the place of realistic self-appraisement come omnipotent concepts in tandem with increasingly egocentric attitudes, all of which are legitimized by T.M. Also, the other goals of T.M. are accepted without question.

4.1.7. NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES OF MEDITATION

Table 14: Difficulties as a result of the meditation

Over 70% of those in our study had difficulties, statements made on tape list these difficulties mainly as being: problems with sleeping, anguish, increasing pain in the head, stomach, and back, (compare with section 6 of this chapter), problems with concentration, hallucinations, feelings of isolation, depression, over- sensitivity, and instability.

It is significant that the percentage is high in each group. This shows that even the so-called easy meditation (2x20) can lead to serious problems. This is confirmed by comparing the ordinary meditators with sidhas, T.M. teachers, and governors. 70% of ordinary meditators had experienced difficulties as a result of the meditation, 82% of insiders.

The questioning of ex-meditators yielded the same result. They were asked how they experienced the meditation and what their feelings were towards it.

Table 15: Personal judgment of the process of the meditation by ex-meditators (Group 3 [spouses])

74% had problems during the meditation and because of it. They judge the meditation to be altogether negative getting steadily worse or are in two minds.

4.1.8. HOW DID THE MEDITATORS TRY TO DEAL WITH THESE DIFFICULTIES?

Table 16: Attempts by meditators to deal with difficulties. (more than one answer possible)

Unconscious experiences (i.e. experiences in the unconscious) which are not worked out, and the insufficient and practically non-existent follow-up procedures caused serious mental disturbances with many meditators, for example sleeping problems, anguish, problems with concentration, hallucinations, feelings of isolation, depression, over-sensitivity as well as physical problems. More than 70% of meditators said that they had come into mental disturbances as a result of the meditation. Similar problems were observed in meditators, i.e. ordinary meditators, who meditated only 2x20 minutes daily and had little contact with the organization. These facts refute the claims made by T.M. organization that transcendental meditation is a harmless relaxation technique with purely positive consequences.

4.2 EFFECTS OF T.M. ON PERCEPTION OF REALITY

Table 17: Did you believe in the Maharishi effect? (this question was only put to ex- meditators)

It is amazing that over 50% of all ex-meditators believed in the so-called "Maharishi effect". This is the claim that when 1% of the population in the city/area meditate, that a substantial improvement would be seen in all aspects of Fife in that particular region. (A promise in a T.M.. advertisement goes: "With the help of the Maharishi effect society will automatically become an ideal society, a society without disease.. .".

If one divides the ex-meditators into ordinary meditators and insiders, it can be seen that the ordinary meditators believed in the effect (53%) to the same degree as the insiders (50%).

4.2.1.2 THE SIDHI-PROGRAM

Table 18: Why was the Sidhi-course taken? (more than one answer possible)

Here too it is noticeable that 58% believed that one day they would be able to fly. Three quarters of sidhas had as the most important motive a greater development of consciousness.

That 64% of sidhas took the course because it was recommended them by organization shows the growing conviction of many meditators that "everything that T.M. says is good, proper, and important".

Meditators also accepted without question the reincarnation theory, karma and dharma theories. This is down in the other variables.

4.2.1.3 STYLE OF DRESS

"He exists on borrowed money from his friends since his involvement with T.M. (3/73)

4.2.1.5 VEGETARIANISM

Table 19: Vegetarianism

91% of those in our study became part or full vegetarians through the influence of T.M. Only 9% never tried vegetarianism, despite T.M. The longer a person practices T.M., the higher the likelihood that he will become vegetarian. This is shown by the fact that in the parent group, whose children have on average practiced T.M. for 7.3 years, almost 100% are vegetarian, whereas in the group of ex-meditators who on average practiced T.M. for 2.9 years, only 81% were vegetarian, at least temporarily speaking.

A similar relationship exists between ordinary meditators and insiders. The following table shows that insiders are far more likely to be vegetarians than the ordinary meditators.

Table 20: Difference between ordinary meditators and insiders in the context of vegetarianism.

In order to avoid misunderstandings let it be said that it is not being suggested that there is anything wrong with vegetarianism. The variable is only being used to indicate that the teaching of T.M. and the experience of meditation has such a strong influence on meditators, that even "convinced meat-eaters" are converted.

Examples:

"He slowly became vegetarian. He first wouldn't eat any more meat, then no eggs, finally he would only eat grains and cereals." (3)

"She became vegetarian. Then she wouldn't prepare anything else for the family." (3)

4.2.1.6 HEALTH INSURANCE AND DOCTOR CARE

Table 21: Health insurance for those working full-time for the T.M. movement

The T.M. Movement has established a "Ministry for Health and Immortality," and promises meditators a life without sickness. According to the meditators' perception of reality that is considered factual, and consequently they do without health insurance.

Out of the 29 meditators who gave up their job or studies to work full-time for the T.M. movement, only two were insured by the T.M. movement, and those two only because of outside pressure to do so. 38% (11) weren't insured at all, the parents or married partners insured another 38% (11). Only 17% (5) insured themselves or kept up existing insurance. Here also, one cannot but suspect that the T.M. organization takes advantage of the changed perception of the world on the part of the meditator who works for them, in order not to have to pay a salary or medical or social insurance.

When a sickness or illness does occur, it is mostly simply denied; it doesn't fit into the theory. A visit to a doctor is out of the question. In the most extreme case meditators working for the movement will go to a T.M. doctor (who will "prescribe" more meditation. See section 4.1.5.1.) or will visit a homeopath.

Examples:

"He will only allow himself to be treated by homeopaths." (3)

"He went to his T.M. doctor, who advised him to meditate more." (3)

"My T.M. teacher was disgusted, that I had entrusted myself to the care of a doctor. I always make the wrong decisions, he said." (2)

4.2.2. INFLUENCE OF T.M. AND MAHESH YOGI ON MEDITATORS

Table 22: Influence of T.M. on meditators

The differences between groups 1 and 3 and Group 2 [ex- meditators] revolves around the fact that in Group 2 [ex- meditators] most were only ordinary meditators, of whom only 57% were very strongly influenced, as opposed to the insiders, of whom 98% were very strongly influenced.

This influence is strengthened by the central figure of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. In answer to the question "What position did M. Mahesh Yogi occupy in your world view?", many said that they saw him as a "leader," a "divine person," and he occupied the position of primary importance in their lives. Whatever he said, was binding. These meditators made themselves dependent on his authority and lost the capacity for independent thought and action.

Examples:

"Maharishi was the master and stood in the center." (2/71)

"The great sage, who has perception." (3/7l)

"Leader of her movement." (3/71)

"Maharishi has the status of a god. Likewise he is a type of father and protector. He makes everything right." (l/7l)

"First of all he was the overwhelming personification of an enlightened way of life, which I dared not try to achieve because of a self-awareness of my own short- comings." (2/71)

"He was the leader, we would have followed him into the sea." (2/7l)

The influence of T.M. and the central position Mahesh Yogi occupies for meditators is self-evident. The continual justification of his leadership role was expressed thus by an ex-meditator: "With us it was like this: whoever is in the highest state of consciousness has the right to exercise power over people who have a lesser awareness. That is, in an Indian context, caste-awareness. The caste system comes from this. It's a matter of consciousness and incarnation." (2)

4.2.3 ON THE QUESTION OF THE EXERCISE OF FREE WILL

Table 23: Was the exercise of free will influenced during the time of involvement with T.M.?

73% of meditators were influenced strongly to very strongly in their exercising of free will or determination. Here also it is clear that insiders were far more affected than ordinary meditators. They became what Maharishi prognosticated in his teaching.

"...even those who are not so highly developed mentally can become innocent instruments in the hand of the almighty and fulfill his plan...not a great deal of learning is required, only a complete self-deliverance to the master. This gives us the key to success." (Mahesh Yogi in "Holy Tradition" page 13)

4.2.4 CHANGED VIEW OF REALITY

An evaluation of all that was said in response to the above question yielded the following: approximately 90% absorbed and accepted T.M. theory and ideology, 80% followed precisely the instructions of meditators of higher rank, and about 75% lived in the pretend world of T.M.

4.2.5. CHANGE IN THE FRAMEWORK OF PERCEPTION

Using this recording from the interview, the dangers involved in this type of meditation can be illustrated, dangers particularly relevant to those beginning the practice who are under 25 years of age.

I experienced T.M. as an investigation into my own nervous system, a becoming conscious of many things...T.M. is really a concentration into the spiritual, and it's perhaps because of that that many people believe that they fly...

It struck me, what they call unstressing, I would explain it in this way, that those people suddenly concentrate wholly on themselves in that isolation, and that then problems start to appear.

I noticed that people needed more sleep. They obviously had something to work out - me too, I was (always) very tired.

I stop the subconscious from coming up....

And what concerns they have about the nervous system! Why am I able to see at all... I came this far: Before, I hadn't understood why they had their eyes closed, let's suppose I sit here on my own and do nothing. I close my eyes, because it's simply better that way. Why should I see something...I don't want to see anything anyway! That you control your nervous system better, psychological functions, and that you become more selective and because of that more aware and another person doesn't understand that, they absorb everything with reflection. Through the mantra you learn to concentrate on a "certain something", if you learn at all to concentrate...

I believe that it's a sort of retreat into further layers of consciousness, when pictures begin to appear. Why? Because it's an earlier awareness. You could say that your awareness becomes more childlike, more pensive...

My thinking became pictorial, everything I thought were pictures, like a film. That you see yourself as in a film...

I see myself going along, and I see myself doing what I actually will do.

I saw myself as a film projector, in which there was a film, and we could look at it like this, that the black part was the unconscious mind and the place where the pictures showed up, that was the conscious mind...and during the meditation the black part separated from the other part of the film, and I saw my whole life as a film. Everything became known again....it is taken from the darkness and brought into the light, and there it stays...I think that I could use that to good advantage at school, that the memory is somehow trained...exactly as I take it in, I would reproduce it.

Increasing concentration of preoccupation with yourself. An introversion, you put all of your concentration on your nervous system, you have a preoccupation with it; it didn't fascinate me, but it interested me. Hey, that's really interesting and you'll have to study this. That's going on in every person. Perception goes inwards, not only into the body, but into the spirit... you try to screen yourself completely off from the world, I called it a really nice name "Desire-stop". I tried therefore to stop desires working on me and I naturally became very calm; the more you rid yourself of desires the more it becomes a psychological hobby. Other people don't do it, but it interested me, because desires play a big part in things, and you only notice desires when you've had more for a long time.

I saw a certain danger for my own development in having a relationship of dependence with other people or another person. I mean things that you have absolutely no need for, you absorb them, they just go right into you. Things that are uninteresting or of no importance. Why should a person introduce things like that into himself? That's just a pure waste of energy! A waste of the nervous system's energy. Everything uses up energy, and why shouldn't I save energy in my nervous system. If I now am sitting somewhere and am looking around, without consciously seeing anything, then I'll just close my eyes, since there is no point, it's really just a waste of energy...

It all started in France, the mental crisis. A life with nature...and I tried to leave everything that was decadent aside, including to a certain extent what was for me spiritually decadent - thinking, thinking isn't natural. Thinking isn't natural. I don't want to say that women were as such an example to me, but like I've already said, women do it much more properly than men. Women have an instinct that is lacking in men. Man has his logical understandings, the woman has a sort of refined feeling. You don't have to be homosexual, I've noticed - it's all about hormones, aggression. I could dismantle all of it, I had everything under control. That's the man in me, that's all the aggression, all the hormones, that's all just complete bullshit. I got rid of all my aggression, the natural aggression of the male, I controlled my sexual drive or whatever you call it, when a person sees a beautiful woman and it arouses him...I thought to myself, that's not essentially positive. That's more a thing to do with the unconscious, you see. And then I tried so that everything would leave me cold and uninterested. That was my goal, no influence from outside, because with those I'm not free...

It was a time, in which I had an overview for the first time of all functions and could control them really well. That was before France. In France, you could say, that was my downfall. That was a downfall not planned by me.

T.M. was for me a means to see for the first time that such desires have an effect on us. I'd thought it over beforehand, how I would explain it to them. Our psyche is a desert, a large expanse of sand, and now there's rain falling, that is desires. Every desire causes a reaction, that is, if you like, our mental reaction. Let us say that I can see that there are thousands and thousands of desires affecting me and causing reactions in me. Abracadabra, you are not free. I build a house with a roof on this sand, that means, that I shield myself off from the desires and then I make somewhere a small hole and let only one or two drops of rain in and I examine them and try, using those raindrops to shut off the rest. So I'm left with a better picture, that you have to search out certain raindrops; that you can't let everything go into yourself, like a person with no awareness does...Before I began T.M. I hadn't thought like that at all. I had acted just like everyone else, without worrying. When I went to France, there was chaos. Myself as a person with such a finely tuned and different perception suddenly has to think in another language. I was like a small child, who suddenly has to start from the beginning again. And what I had learned from myself was as if rubbed out: I was in the role of a small child, I had to learn to speak again.

And it was because of this that my development was suddenly ended. Because of that I got into a terrible crisis. It was horrible. Thinking was suddenly French....I had had my thoughts and perception so beautifully in shape and then came another language and it destroyed everything... (2)

Mantra meditation can lead to a completely changed perception of reality. It is a slow process from the mature "I-you relationship" back to the one dimensional narcissistic "I". The young person involved with T.M. is effectively hindered from becoming a responsible independent adult, he regresses to an infantile and narcissistic stage, expressed through appropriate behavior on his part. The almost complete loss of a sense of reality is caused, in our considered opinion, by the practice of meditation, the teaching and T.M. movement in the context of it being so organized in the particular way it is. This loss of a sense of reality makes a person unfit for work, unable to shape his life in a responsible manner and unable to be socially active.

4.2.6 SUMMARY

-It was demonstrated, using one particular case, that the practice of T.M. during adolescence leads to a lasting disturbance and disorder in that person's perception of the world, which has most disadvantageous consequences for the development of personality and the formation of identity.

4.3 EFFECTS OF T.M. ON PERSONALITY STRUCTURES

Table 24: Stress Factor

After the initiation into T.M. stress played a very big role for 60% (37), it was an important factor for 26% (16). Only 8% considered it of small importance, and with 7% (4) it played no part whatsoever. As the following graph shows, the stress factor indication has practically been turned upside down. Although meditators have as a matter of fact less stress in their lives due to their changed life-style, they are conscious of a large to massive amount of stress. This discrepancy between "objective", i.e. actual levels of stress, and the subjectively perceived stress factor causes in many meditators far reaching negative consequences for their personality as a whole.

4.3.2. CONSTITUTION, ATTITUDE, AND BEHAVIOR

Table 25: Were there changes in the ability to make decisions? Who did you consult for important decisions?

An evaluation of the above question gave the results shown in Table 25, which shows an alteration in this field too. 47% (28) became underlings to authority regarding decisions made, 12% (7) became unable to make decisions. Just 33% (20) had the same decision making capacity while one meditator according to his own statement, had improved on this capacity. This result suggests conclusions which could be made with regard to the centralized hierarchy of the T.M. organization and its aims. The result for Group 2 [ex-meditators] is in conformity with this, who had little contact with the T.M. organization and consequently were not affected in the same measure with regard to their ability to make decisions.

Examples:

"I didn't know anymore how to make decisions, there was no personality anymore, absolutely nothing." (2/77)

"The constant referral to the T.M. lifestyle was markedly strong. You ask the people and change according to their advice." (2/77)

"I didn't make decisions spontaneously. Spontaneity disappeared, the verve for living dissipated." (2/77)

"I always asked the T.M. teacher what I should do. 1 said: You decide for me. 1 followed his decisions. That became my will." (2/77)

"I became more easily influenced and needed longer to make a decision about something." (2/77)

"He went to Seelisburg to ask whether he should continue with his studies." (1/77)

"She became completely unable to make decisions. She felt totally enveloped by Maharishi and lived from day to day." (l/77)

4.3.2.2. PHYSIOGNOMY

Table 26: Changes in the physiognomy (more than one answer possible)

In 67 cases 50 showed a change, in other words 75% of the total number.

In 82% (4) of the cases, the facial expression (i.e. normal) changed. Members and ex-meditators report of a mask-like facial expression, strange smiling and twitches. In 28% (14) of cases, body deportment was altered. The general posture was characterized as: stiff, plump, sloppy, slow and cramped. In 52% (26) or cases, the voice had changed and was described as in the following: softer, inarticulate, slurred, solemn, and laborious. In 30% (15) of cases, the handwriting had changed. It was wider and more drawn out, not concentrated, erratic, had many slips of the pen, and spelling was more incorrect.

4.3.2.3. CHANGE IN PERSONALITY

Table 27: In what way did the personality of the meditator change.

The question about the overall impression of personality changes caused by T.M. (whatever the individual understood it to be, was answered by positive remarks by 12% (8). Another 12% (8) said that absolutely nothing had changed and 75% (49) judged the changes which occurred as begin altogether negative.

Of the 7 testimonies which reported a positive change in the personality, 6 came from the ex-meditators, of which 5 ex-meditators had no contact at all with the T.M. organization, although regular in their meditation. In this group only 52% considered the changes to be negative.

All three groups show a clear negative trend with regard to this question. Meditation is an inner-personal process and cannot be understood by means of analytical factors. With meditation one is talking more about well-being and overall satisfaction - this is also the claim of the T.M. movement. Yet 75% (three quarters) of the meditators do not report this, rather, this type of meditation meant for them a disturbance in the development of their personality, which, years later, was still evident.

4.3.3. SUMMARY

-In 75% of cases, according to the testimonies of those questioned, the personality changes in a clearly negative direction, 12% found no change, and likewise 12% judged that there was a change in a positive direction. Meditation, being an inner-person process, is supposed to lead to well-being and overall satisfaction for the meditator. The majority of meditators, however, did not find this. Moreover, deep disturbances in the personality of the meditator were more the order of the day.

4.4. EFFECTS OF T.M. ON THE SOCIAL FIELD

Table 28: Interests before T.M. (more than one answer possible)

The interest in travel, music and theater was above average for the soon-to-be meditators. Conspicuously low was the interest in television; half (27) said that T.V. had no importance or role in their lives, for a further 25% it had only a small part. For only 11% (6) television played a major part in their lives.

4.4.1.2. ACTIVITIES DURING FREE-TIME

Table 29: Activities before T.M. (more than one answer possible)

Here we are concerned with a group of soon-to-be meditators of whom approximately one in five were engaged in the activities shown in Table 29. Approximately half of them involved themselves externally in societies, church and politics, in addition to internal relationships with relatives and friends.

4.4.1.3 CHARACTERISTICS REGARDING COMMUNICATION

Table 30: Communication before T.M.

The vast majority 82% had no experience of loneliness before T.M. The readiness or ability to communicate was markedly high. On average 70% (46), said that they liked to have discussions (on topics). They were interested in a wide variety of themes, and could listen attentively to others and were able to argue to the point.

Overall the meditators are people who, before T.M., had varied interests, were alert mentally, and open. They also had good to very good relationships with family and friends.

4.4.2. EFFECTS OF T.M. ON THE SOCIAL FIELD

Table 31: Changes in the daily rhythm. (more than one answer possible)

In 90% of cases (61), eating, sleeping and/or work habits changed. 41 meditators changed to a major degree their eating habits, which corresponds with the factor that 45 meditators became strict vegetarians. This result shows that all 3 Groups only then admitted to a change of eating habits, when they had become strict vegetarians.

Examples:

"She was only in the house on weekdays, and finally moved out. The children were totally neglected by my wife." (3/67)

"When my husband went to bed in the evening, he forced me to do the same. I had to take sleeping tablets, otherwise I wouldn't go to sleep. There was a troublesome situation during the mornings, when he was doing his (yoga) exercises and I couldn't prevent him from doing them." (3/67)

"My wife was always tired, slept continually, sometimes up to 12 o'clock midday, and went to bed at 10 o'clock in the evening. She didn't have the mental capacity to look after our child, who was 14 months old. I had to come home before noon from work to look after the child. She also didn't bother with making any breakfast, didn't go out of the house anymore (i.e. even to get sick benefits) except when it was to meditate somewhere." (3/67)

"He was sometimes a whole day in his room, although there was a lot of work to be done, as opposed to what he used to be like. It was like a forced thing with him, that he couldn't work anymore. He said that what he had done before T.M. was all wrong; he wanted to leave the family." (1/67)

"He took no further part in the family life. He prepared his own food himself." (1/67)

"I had pains in my stomach quite often. I slept a lot more." (2/67)

"When the baby had to be changed and it was time for T.M. then the baby had to wait." (2/67)

"I suffered from insomnia and lived an irregular life." (2/67)

"I had a more regular daily routine, became more attuned to nature. Nature became more trustworthy to me than people or indeed myself." (2/67)

4.4.2.2 CHANGES IN INTERESTS

Table 32: Interests before T.M.

In answer to the question "did interests which (you) had before T.M. change?", 76% (48) said that they had dissipated; only 5% (3) said that interests which they had had before T.M. had since grown. As against that 91% (57) showed a very strong interest in T.M., in other words, they were developing a different structure of motivation and impulse during T.M. and shifted all focus of interest onto T.M.

Examples:

"My husband could not stand watching catastrophes on T.V. anymore. His interest in politics had disappeared". (3/66)

"During discussions or after television reports about various world events there was the usual commentary: 'A few T.M. teachers should go out there!" (3/66)

"I did absolutely nothing anymore: I just sat around the house, sat there and thought, read about spirituality, had compulsive thoughts, and no interest in involving myself in any activities." (2/66)

Table 33: The role of T.M. in discussions

77% (50) reported that T.M. played a large to very large part in discussions, 8% said that discussions ran normally, and 15% didn't discuss or talk about it at all. In Group 2 [ex-meditators] the values were somewhat lower. A comparison between ordinary meditators and insiders shows that this variable (role of T.M. in discussions) gains importance in accordance with the measure of involvement with T.M. For 93% of insiders T.M. played a large part in discussions, as against 48% of ordinary meditators.

From the qualitative statements made, it becomes clear that outside observers find these discussions cliched, mechanical and indoctrination-like ("he went on like a recording, always repeating himself").

Ex-meditators speak often about positive effects (of T.M.) in their testimonies. In their opinion they were better able to listen to others and didn't carry on any trivial conversations.

What is important for meditators is often meaningless for detached observers. The altered world-view can be seen here. After giving up T.M., the framework of perception fostered by it begins to be slowly dismantled. This phenomenon is portrayed in the following recordings:

"I had big problems with my mother. I explained to her about all the positive affects it had, but she said that she couldn't see any of them. She found me more withdrawn. Her perception of people is very sharp. Today I believe her. I became more egotistical, I didn't care about the family. She could find absolutely none of the positive workings of T.M. and believed that I had become more isolated. Now I see that too, since I revolved a lot more around myself, and couldn't direct my attention to other people." (2)

Examples for style of conversation:

"Her style of conversation became very constricted, she became more aggressive and more intolerant. During the divorce proceedings in court my wife made T.M. the issue, much to her disadvantage. She said that if I were to begin meditation, she would come back home immediately." (3/64)

"The whole type of discourse had a missionary and indoctrination-like character.' (3/64)

"...Had developed a primitive type of speech, had difficulty with articulation...head was either very empty or very full." (1/64)

"His style of speech had changed, in that there was a mandatory introduction of T.M. into everything. Whether we talked about eating or traffic conditions, everything became engrossed in T.M. When we had a guest in the house, who had nothing whatsoever to do with T.M., then he would set about convincing the guest to begin T.M."(1/64)

"His style of speech was different, he became a know-all and saw T.M. as being the only truth, and he attempted, in an almost fanatical way to convert everyone." (l/64)

"Light discussions were dispersed with no more interest in that sort of thing: - one talked about far-reaching matters that were of importance and relevance." (2/64)

"No concentration - forgot words, stuttering got worse." (2/64)

"A quarter more sensitive tone of voice. Everything was gradual and measured. We exchanged greetings with 'Jai Guru Dev'." (2/64)

"Ordinary language wasn't used anymore." (2/64)

4.4.2.3. CHANGES IN AREA OF RELATIONSHIPS

Table 34: Social contact within the family before and during T.M.

Examples:

"The situation at home became worse and worse. I could hardly stay there. I'd get into my car and drive off to see my T.M. teacher. I neglected the housework" (2/61)

"I wasn't interested in conversation anymore, and was arrogant towards - my parents because they weren't meditators."(2/61)

"He only had contacts with other meditators. When he brought friends home with him they were from the ranks of T.M. Everything he said was like a recording, always repeating himself, always the same thing...a confrontation always happened at family get-togethers, and then he usually ran off. There was only one interest in life for him and that was meditation - he lived according to meditation, and while he was still home, never took part in family life. He said too that he could suppress hunger through meditation he didn't need to eat normally like the rest of us. He said that a person need only two to three hours sleep. When he spent a little time here, he didn't get up so early in the morning, in fact he idled away a lot of the time. He said he couldn't bear cigarettes being smoked and kept to himself. He ate only rice, and wouldn't eat anything else, including the vegetables because I had put a little gravy in them. He maintained that he couldn't take that, that it had the same affect on him as alcohol - he turned into a egotist, only his happiness and his well- being were important. He had become much more delicate..."(1)

Social Contacts within the family

Diagram 4 for Groups 1 and 2

Relationships with married partners:

In Group 3 [spouses] standard variables were put to those questioned, which would yield information on the state of the relationship in the marriage. The variables were further underlined with a graded value-system: 1.2.3.4.

1. very much / very intensive/ very good
2. a lot/ intensive/ good
3. little/ average/ satisfactory
4. none/ casual/ unsatisfactory
In Table 35 the median is given for the variables for before as well as after T.M., with the corresponding difference. The value 2.333 signifies, for example that the judgment on a particular variable lies between "a lot" and "little".

Table 35: Relationships between married partners (value given is average)

The variable "time for partner" is reduced by 0.9 points, caused by engagement in the T.M. movement. Discussion between the married couple, which was the variable which received the worst rating, remains approximately the same, since there is now in the marriage quite a lot of discussion about T.M. The emotional relationship to the other partner must be viewed in context with the intimate relations. Both variables showed a considerable reduction in rating (by 1.00 point and 1.69 points respectively) Relationship with the children and minding of the children are considerably reduced, by 1.25 and 1.00 points respectively. This can be explained by the previously outlined change in the framework of perception, and an increasingly introverted behavior pattern. The relationship with the partner and the children is considered to be a stress producing thing, which is to be avoided, because it hinders the evolution or development of their own selves. The gradual reduction out to the complete cessation of intimate relations should be seen in this context. Intimate relations cause bad karma. The general impression is therefore strengthened, that the hermit or monastic lifestyle is valued higher than the so- called "householder" life-style. Because of this, a far above average amount of meditators end their marriages, because the everyday demands within the family become too much for them. The noticeably worsened relationships with the children were to lead, in some cases, to a severe lack of development on the part of the children.

In general, there is an overall decrease in the quality of living in all areas. The capacity for carrying on a loving relationship is drastically lowered, up to the point where there is a complete inability to carry on the relationship. Indifference, less interest, and less time for children and partner were all found to be firmly established. In extreme instances, it came to divorce and also an almost total neglect of the children.

Examples:

"I had started to develop strains of intolerance, I became much more indifferent to the problems of others. I had a rather different attitude - they should try and do something to help themselves! As egotism of the highest degree and egocentric behavior occurred. The whole T.M. thing is developed on the notion that - I should be feeling good, I have to become enlightened, and so on, me, me, me... people and things around you have no part to play. Interest in world affairs got less and less, and so did my sporting activities. I had a lot more time for questions of religious and philosophical content. When it was time to do the T.M. meditation, then the baby could wait or visitors could wait until I was finished. Even then I sometimes said that real things were more important than T.M., but as far as my husband was concerned, T.M. was more important.

Against my own convictions, I withdrew - more and more from my contacts with others. I only began friendships with other meditators during the time I practiced T.M. An exaggerated self-adoration, a continuous self-praise; what a great wisdom we had in our lives, recounting of experiences, how great the meditation was, and how we could persuade more peep to do meditation and how we could help the organization to expand." (2)

"She had hardly seen the children for a year. After five months she had seen them for an hour. During this hour she was on the telephone to the T.M. center for forty minutes. She would crack up without T.M....she sued me and her father for maintenance.' (3/61)

"The mother didn't look after the child anymore, and let it go on crying when something was bothering it...the mother didn't go out to the playground with the child anymore, it was kept the whole day in the apartment, in its playpen." (3/61)

"The family went completely apart. She was only interested in T.M. anymore, and took no time to be with her husband; she led a separate existence from the child; she wasn't capable of even speaking to the child, had absolutely no patience with the little one." (3/61)

4.4.2.4. CONFLICTS

Table 36: Changes in conflict situations and behavior.

Just over a quarter (26%, 16) became more aggressive during the T.M. phase, but in Group 3 [spouses], the actual percentage is a staggering 70%. 18% (11) became more intolerant, 18% (11) wanted to avoid conflicts, 10% (6) wanted to avoid conflict if possible, but were however more aggressive if a conflict did arise. 5% (3) were not able for any stressful situation, 10% (6) reported no change and only 5% (3) became more tolerant in their behavior. It is interesting that only 10% (6) showed no change and that only 5% (3) were more tolerant. Regarding all other variable, T.M. had a negative effect. The majority showed a disturbance or disruption of inner balance.

Examples:

"My husband was a peaceful and calm person before he began T.M. During the T.M phase there were arguments every day; shouting, raving, cups were thrown out the window and clocks too, - the ticking of the clock disturbed him. He required absolute quiet and rebuked anyone who disturbed him." (3/65)

"Couldn't be brought out of (his/her) composure. Grinned happily." (1/65)

"Started to cry when he was under pressure without the possibility of escaping." (1/65)

"He displayed a certain indifference, and hardly any emotional reaction." (1/65)

"During situations of conflict or stress, a strong detachment or aloofness was evident." (1/65)

"He became more and more aggressive in conflict situations with regard to words used and his demeanor. He was always in the right." (1/65)

"T.M. made me colder - a composed egotism." (2/65)

"I became much more likely to get uptight about something, because I had become more sensitive." (2/65)

"I didn't allow myself to get involved or burdened with stressful situations, became more intolerant." (2/65)

4.4.2.5. CHANGES IN RELATIONSHIPS

Table 37: Relationships to other people before and during T.M.

55% (37) had close friendships before T.M. and 30% (20) had at least a few acquaintances. Only 6% (4) lived an isolated life. The relatively good relationship to other people is shown by the median 1.405.

During the T.M. phase, only 20% (13) had close friendships and 20% (13) some acquaintances, and 50% (33) lived an isolated life; in Group 3 [spouses], 70% lived an isolated life. Group 2 [ex-meditators] displays the best results in terms of relationships to other people. The median dropped by 1.595 points to finish at 3.000.

Relations with other people are neglected for exactly the same reason as were the relations within the family. As against that, new and close contacts are founded within the subcultural milieu of the new grouping, which is shown in the following table.

Table 38: Were new contacts made during the T.M. phase?

89% (55) made contacts only with other meditators, 2% (1) only with non-meditators and 10% (6) with both. Note that in Group 3 [spouses] all meditators made new contacts exclusively with other meditators, i.e. within their new grouping. It is apparent that interest in things outside of T.M. drops. The companionship with people of like mind provides a certain assuredness. Regarding contact with non-meditators, the missionary aspect lost importance as a result of those contacts. Contacts with T.M. people were often described as "very intensive " and "warm". Main subjects are T.M. and meditator experiences. There is a lot of meditating together. The evening T.M. center group meetings provide the occasion for the introduction of the meditator into the esoteric level and teachings through accounts or narratives by T.M. teachers, governors or other meditators. There occurs a process within the new referral group through the experience of group meditation which involves group dynamics; this process is intended to induce a slow and almost imperceptible acceptance of the teachings and perceptional[sic] framework, i.e. view of reality.

Examples:

"...and sometimes they sat down together in the evening, and a governor from Switzerland came in wearing a shirt and tie, a person completely unknown to us, and explained something about the cosmos and spheres, and you had the feeling that you would have to be intelligent to understand it. My heaviest understanding of people told me that what he was talking about was nonsense, and I much preferred not to try and understand it all, but to simply watch and observe him. None of the governors were married and I asked myself how that could be, whether they couldn't enter into any kind of relationship, since we'd just heard that (as a result of T.M.) you could become more intensely involved with your partner. They all gave the impression that they were living purely for themselves like monks, almost. I asked this question, and received only a vague reply - no clear answer; there was a lot of talking without any concrete point being made, and I was effectively ignored. Then you were put off the subject with lot of nice talk about the cosmos. They wanted nirvana, it's beyond the cosmos, they say." (2)

"During that time I had a certain type of contact with meditators, it's a sort of circle which holds together like you wouldn't believe and is not open to others (non-meditators). That's actually a contradiction, because if you want to spread the thing, then you should go to where there is poverty and suffering, since the stress could go into them and they don't want that....that once happened to me, when I had backpains due to tension and I wanted someone to massage my back, but no one would do it, since they said, that that was stress and unstressing, and if we do that with our hands then it will go into our bodies. I was pretty shocked at this. They don't like to help others." (2/63)

"We talked about meeting with T.M. teachers, about training courses, about what would be like when you're dead, what experiences I had when I meditated." (2/63)

"The T.M. teacher in our house wanted no contact with the outside world because of the stress inherent in it, and exhibited no social behavior." (2/63)

4.4.3. PERSONALITY PROFILE

*In cases where both parents filled out the personality profile, the middle value was taken from both answers for the evaluation.

4.4.3.2. OVERALL EVALUATION

Table 39: Personality profile of Groups 1, 2, 3.

Diagram 6: Comparison of Phases I and 2, an average taken from parent group, ex-meditator group and married partners.

Susceptibility changed from +1.100 (Phase l)to 1.303 (Phase 2), i.e. an increase of 0.202 points. Apathy rose from -1.282 (Phase 1 )to -0.740 (Phase 2), indicating a change of +0.542. Likewise egotism increased, it rose from +0.457 to +1.05l, i.e. by 0.594 points. All three attributes showed an overall increase in importance. As monitoring items they accordingly gave an indication as to overall tendency as far as the complete picture was concerned, There is to be seen a worsening in the attributes of the personality of meditators in the passage from Phase 1 to the phase during meditation practice. The trend of this worsening will be dealt with using individual evaluations and comparisons. Before that, we would like to draw attention to Table 39A. It gives the average data regarding the change once more.

Table 39A: Overview of average change from Phase 1 to Phase 2 for ex-meditators, parents and married partners.

Table 39B: Personality profile for Group 3 [spouses] (married partners) .

The judgment of the married partners group (i.e. the non- meditator's judgment of the meditating partner) was very close to that of the parents. The item "perception of reality" had decreased by 2.800 points; from +0.600 to -2.200. If the view of reality was accredited with some import by both partners before the invitation (of one of them), it was now a source of great conflict. The second greatest change given by the married partners group was openness. This decreased by 2.800 points; from +1.4 to -1.4.

The meditation reduced openness in its being a communicative quality. As a non-verbal attribute of understanding and the ability to communicate one's thoughts, it transformed into the opposite. Through this lack of openness, honesty shows a startling drop (-3.100). This evaluation is of significance in that honesty, being one of the trust-building supports of every relationship, was in no way stabilized or increased through the T.M. meditation. This lack of honesty becomes even more significant when one sees how small the change in honesty is with the ex-meditators (-0.636) when compared with that of the parents group (-1.776). Other items are notable for the extreme changes which they undergo: ability to make contacts changes by -2.600 point, politeness by -1.722 points, warmth and sympathy by -2.200 points. These three attributes can be described as being factors of impulses of the emotional aspect. A distinct cooling in the relationship is indicated, on the commencement of the T.M. practice by one of the partners. (see diagram 7).

Personality Profile

Diagram 7: Comparison between Phases 1 and 2 for married partners.

In the area of performance, therefore, T.M. does not cause an improvement, rather a disimprovement[sic] and accordingly fails in its promises for this area, as with others. (see Diagram 8)

Ex-meditators, parents and married partners are all united in this aspect, with some individual differentiations. Even ability to make contacts (-2.431) and dependability (-2.117) as well as warmth and sympathy (-2.177) were reduced in the opinion of the parents. They give an indication of the social attitudes of the children towards their parents. We have to bear in mind however, a possibly concealed process of detachment (i.e. as part of growing up). Even with this in mind, the problem of a reinforced separation and a shutting-off process does not seem any less immediate and significant. The judgment of the ex- meditators for these attributes are an indication of the correctness of the parent's observations.

Personality profile.

Diagram 8: Comparison between Phases 1 and 2 for parent group.

Table 39D: Personality profile of Group 2 [ex-meditators]

The ex-meditators were careful in their self-evaluation. (Diagram 9). They ascertained the general development of their personality during the T.M. meditation phase to be negative, but in doing so probably either did not take account of other peoples' perception of themselves, or did not rate such observations very highly. For this reason, the "extreme" judgments of the parents and married partners groups did not find expression here. Apart from that, they [ex-meditators] had not nearly been as long involved with T.M. as had the meditators in groups 1 and 3. Notable here is the relatively strong transformation in the perception of reality (-1.273) and openness (-0.995) as a result of the meditation. It is to be assumed that the change in both items caused a great deal of conflict in their lives. Likewise a strong decrease in humor was evident (-1.000), this attribute would appear to reflect to a large degree a person's personality. It was also evaluated as having decreased by the parent and married partner's groups. Interesting is the reported increase in self-awareness and equilibrium. (+0.445 and +0.636 respectively) These evaluations seem only to be justified in relation to the practice of T.M., and not in an overall sense, as they are relevant only in the context of the then-existing isolation from non-meditators.

Personality profile

Diagram 9: Comparison between phases 1 and 2 for ex-meditators' group

4.5 EFFECTS OF T.M. ON SCHOOL AND JOB PERFORMANCE

4.5.2 CHANGES IN THE AREA OF PERFORMANCE

Table 40: Changes in the ability. to concentrate

The ability to concentrate worsened in 56% of cases (34), it improved in 16% of cases (10), and remained the same in 26% of cases (16). In Group 2 [ex-meditators] the improvement and disimprovement[sic] figures balanced each other out, while in Groups 1 and 3 more than 70% recorded a worsening in the ability to concentrate. This decrease in the ability to concentrate was expressed in many cases in increased forgetfulness, absent-mindedness and an inability to engage in activity which was of a continuous nature, i.e. which demanded concentration over a period of time.

Examples :

"She couldn't concentrate anymore, her depressive phases became longer and longer.' (3/75)

"Her already weak concentration got even worse." (3/75)

"For five years I was able to concentrate well, but after that it got really bad.' (2/75)

"My ability to concentrate got worse rather than better; at home I only did what was absolutely necessary - I was concentrating only on T.M. and the T.M. family.' (2/75)

4.5.2.2. WORKLOAD

Table 41: Work Load

In all three groups there was a general decrease in performance abilities. Only in Group 2 [ex-meditators] was there an increase, in some cases. In 61% (37) of cases, the ability to manage the workload decreased, in 13% of cases (8), it increased, and in 21% of cases (13) it remained the same. The statements made by those in our study point to a lack of drive and an inability to carry a task to its completion.

Examples:

"His job became more and more burdensome for him. He gave it up." (3/74)

"He got weaker and weaker: it was all to much for him." (3/74)

"He got weaker, less able to do things and had less drive, his health was pitiful." (3/74)

"No achievements anymore, apart from T.M." (l/74)

"For six months after the initiation her performance (at school) got better. She said that that was because of T.M. After that, however, she lost her equilibrium. The teacher noticed it too. She had difficulties with concentration." (l/74) 4.5.3. SCHOOL AND PROFESSIONAL CAREER

Table 42: Changes in school and professional career

On average 58% (38) of those in our study had their careers damaged through the influence of T.M., which they judged to be negative. In 40% (26) of cases there was no change, and only one meditator reported a positive influence on his job career through his involvement with T.M.

Involvement with T.M. leads rarely to an improvement in the career situation of a particular individual. It is more often the case that interest in the job/career wanes, for example, because it is now considered meaningless. After studies or jobs are given up altogether, so that all energies can be devoted to T.M.

Table 43: Particulars on profession and studies.

42% (28) of all questioned gave up either their job or studies because of their involvement with T.M., in order to work full or part-time for the organization or to take part in long courses. It is important to note that in the parent group, whose children meditate, 63% gave up either their professional career or their studies, while in the ex-meditators group only 22% did so. This fact serves as an indicator to the fact that Group 1 [parents] is more intensively and more actively involved in the T.M. movement. Ideology, as well as the belief in their own evolution, plus evolution in general, lead many meditators to give up their career or studies to work year long without pay or health insurance for the T.M. movement. (a T.M. teacher "If both study and T.M. are not possible together, then it's better to give up your studies,.")

It is ascertainable from our interviews that meditators are sent away again by the T.M. movement as soon as they (the meditators) become either incapable of working or paying their way (see section 6.5)

Examples:

"He left everything lying around and undone, didn't do anything except T.M. He wanted to make it a new aim in his life. After the divorce he lived only for T.M. At the moment he had received a certificate from his T.M. doctor saying he was unable to work, but that's not the case. His is unwilling to work, according to a court verdict that decided on his case. "(3/79)

"He ended his professional career in order to be full time at T.M. He didn't get promotion, although he had set about doing so. He didn't want his job anymore either, because it was too much for him physically." (3/79)

"She stopped preparing for her (college) exams, so that she could be full time at T.M." (1/79)

"He didn't have the strength to go on studying, became a hypochondriac, and finally gave up his studies.' (l/79)

"He stopped his professional career temporarily, but after the mental breakdown he ended it completely, and took and early pension." (1/79]

"She cashed in on all her insurance policies, her maintenance claims, and sold all her personal belongings in order to get money so that she could go to Seelisburg." (l/79)

"He became unemployed, because he hadn't had a job for five years." (l/79)

"I took a break from my studies and still don't know what I want to do.' (2/79)

"After I got a promotion I took a leave of absence from my job before the governor's course." (2/79)

4.5.4. SUMMARY

-T.M. had a negative influence on the professional careers of 58% of meditators. Altogether 28 meditators (42%) gave up their studies or professional career in order to work full time for the T.M. movement or to be able to go on long courses. They did this on the basis of promises made them by the movement. An analysis of the taped interviews and the stenographer's scripts only serve to strengthen the suspicion that the T.M. organization aims at cheap labor, which in the case of those people their becoming unfit to work in the course of time, can be sent away again without any real difficulty.

4.6 EFFECTS OF TM. IN THE AREAS OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

Table 44: State of health before the T.M. phase

36% (22) had in the years previous to their commencement of T.M. more or less regularly visited a doctor. In Group 3 [spouses], the amount who did this was 70%. 6 of these 22 people were in therapeutic care, 8% took drugs for psychological treatment, 6% pain relievers, and 6% medicines for physical health problems. Those people visited a doctor for the following various reasons: Hay fever, nervousness, depression, stomach pains, hormone imbalances. 77% (49) had taken no medicines in the years previous to their beginning the practice.

4.6.3. PHYSICAL COMPLAINTS AND SICKNESSES DURING THE T.M. PHASE

Table 45: Complaints and sickness of meditators during T.M. phase (more than one indication possible)

In 63% of cases (42) physical complaints occurred. In most cases these were stomach and bowel complaints, headaches, sleeping difficulties, neck pain.

The Berlin based doctor Domeyer reports of similar functional disorders in 20 - 25 patients who practiced T.M.

"...headaches particularly in the forehead, a feeling of tightness in the region of the thyroid gland together with swallowing difficulties, heart problems and breathing problems, gastric disorders, as well as pre-menstrual difficulties in the case of women, and with men, an unpleasant sensation in the region of the prostrate gland. This list contained the complaints found in all the patients who visited me, with slight variations. I became aware of a curious contradiction, where on the one hand I heard from the T.M. practitioner "Since I've been meditation, I feel very much better in all things", and on the other, the list of complaints made. The contradiction was especially strong when I found, after close questioning, that in most cases there was a connection in time between the beginning of the practice of meditation and the manifestation of the complaints already detailed." (Schweizerische Arztezeitung (Swiss Medical Journal) Number 6-7.2.79)

A Swiss doctor has found the following symptoms in his own investigations of patients who were meditating:

"...a tendency towards an erratic nervous train of thought, sensitivity and sluggishness, social isolation, a disturbance of the sleeping-waking rhythm, month-long insomnia resistant to any therapeutic process, together with anxiety attacks of a religious nature as well as a prevalent tiredness and oversensitivity during the day. Depression, irregularities in the lower spinal column, circulatory disorders, involuntary twitches in the face and extremities." (Doctor P. Heusser: Schader Durch tm, Schweizerische Arztezeitung (Damage caused by T.M., Swiss Medical Journal), 7.2.79)

These symptoms are even known to the T.M. movement - symptoms caused by transcendental meditation, even though in official T.M. research documents they are not listed as possible negative side effects. In the secret checking instructions (not open to the public) we read:

Sometimes someone may complain of pressure in the forehead, the back of the head, the temple or the neck, which arises during the meditation. This can have two possible explanations:

1. Somewhere in the head, in a particular place, a weak or negligible pain exists which is not noticeable on the gross level of consciousness, but which one begins to experience when the attention falls to that fine level. In such a situation one can do nothing other than to simply experience it or to go through the experience when one begins to feel the pain. This sensation of pain will be felt in every single meditation without fail, until the wound is completely healed, or the situation is resolved. One could say to the person when this arises that the experience of pain is a result of the process of unstressing. The formula for this situation is: Take it as it comes and allow it to go the way it chooses.

2. A straining in the meditation, an effort to think the mantra, an intention, even if barely noticeable, to continue to think the mantra or a will to experience the mantra or very fine stages of the mantra - all of this can be summarized in this way: Effort during the meditation. This can be overcome very simply, in that the person stops repeating the mantra as soon as he begins to feel the pain and simply sits and does nothing until the pain has disappeared. It may take perhaps a few seconds, a half a minute or a minute, then we begin again with the mantra. This process of stopping the mantra the moment pain occurs in the meditation should be employed in both situations, 1 and 2. One does not need to try to find out whether the headache arises out of situation 1 or situation 2, since there is no possibility of establishing the exact reason for the sensation of pain during the meditation. Every sensation of pain, which arises during the meditation in the head, the heart or anywhere else, will be dealt with in this way. Jai Guru Dev.

They made a connection between the pain and the chakra energy centers. One could really feel the chakras during the meditation, how the energy flows here and there, and if one meditates a lot, then tensions arise which are somewhat like pain. The awakening of the chakras is a positive experience, despite the pain, in that the energy flows freely. The fact that energy is there and isn't coming through causes the pain - that's the way pain is explained "(2)

Physical complaints and illnesses during T.M. phase

Diagram 10 for Group 1 [parents], 2, 3.

Table 46: Psychological disturbances and illness for meditators during the T.M. phase (more than one indication possible)

76% (51) of cases investigated had psychological or psychiatric disorders which occurred during the T.M. phase and as a result of the practice of T.M. In some cases psychiatric disorders already present came to a state of total breakdown.

Before the T.M. phase, 6 people were in therapeutic care, during or after the T.M. phase the number of those who visited a doctor because of psychological or psychiatric disorder rose to 29. The percentage of people who underwent therapy as a result of such disorders therefore rose from 9% to 43%. This number does not take into account those meditators who refused to visit a psychiatrist or undergo therapeutic treatment because of T.M. ideology, or refrained, for the same reasons, from trying to resolve the disorders which were prevalent.

In table 46, the disorders which occurred most often are portrayed. In first place, (63%), is "tiredness". It correlates in Group 2 [ex-meditators] with a value of 0.749 and a significance of 0000 with sleeping problems. Both variables (tiredness and sleeping problems) are indicators of an up and coming psychological trauma, i.e. if tiredness and insomnia occur for a long period of time. The results shown in Table 46 confirm that the indicators are present.

In second place follows "states of anxiety" 52% (27). Together with "frightening images" it points to quite horrific meditation experiences which may not be related to outsiders (non-meditators) and are hardly discussed among meditators because of the prevailing pressures "to be successful". The lack or absence of discussion which could relieve or resolve these matters intensifies the state of anxiety and frightening images into being a physical syndrome, which manifested in 31% of case (16) as fixations and 39% of cases (20) as obsessive ideas of various types and in 26% (13) cases as a nervous breakdown. 20% (1O) told of steadily increasing suicide tendencies. They could not deal with the psychological trauma any more, unless they were to receive outside help. (i.e. from outside the movement). It is noticeable that in 39% of cases (20) a regression in terms of their perceptions of themselves and others was observed. Even meditators notice this process, as, for instance, when they describe the face or facial expression of many insiders as being "baby-faced". The conflict between the world sought for and the real world caused by the "stress factor" and the theory of karma which is taught them, ends in favor of the world that they are seeking, reflected in the meditation and the T.M. movement. Meditators withdraw more and more into a pretend world. This development is aided and assisted by T.M. teaching and ideology, which both are closely bound together with the on-going emotional experience of meditation. They give the feeling of well-being, lightness, as if wishes are automatically fulfilled. These emotional experiences open up the individual for T.M. and its institutions, where every desire becomes realized. On this level the T.M. organization offers everything which appeals to latent ideas of all-powerfulness in the individual (sidhis, world government.) The combination of meditation experiences, a model of perception solely T.M. related, and its expression on the institutional level, would appear to cultivate fertile ground for a process of regression.

29% (15) of meditators were oppressed by guilt-feelings. Those guilt feelings came into being when meditators, either during therapy or in general discussions with others, say something about T.M. and their own experiences during meditation which they in fact should not have said, because they felt bound by the mandatory promise of secrecy. 39% (20) showed increased nervousness, which manifested symptomatically as twitches of the head or limbs. This is then defined as being "unstressing' by the T.M. movement. More likely is the case that outside stimuli become too strong to cope with. If the meditator cannot avoid them, then a nervousness manifests itself. Meditators are much more sensitive to noise; this was shown by an evaluation of statements made to us.

Examples:

"...after the first few courses he worked with all his energy for the T.M. movement. Afterwards he withdrew into himself more and more. After the last 6 week course, he kept up the very long program (he did there,) shut himself up in the room as if it were a monastery, couldn't be spoken to anymore, and began to meditate even longer. His progress at his studies grew less and less, and finally he just wasn't capable of doing them anymore. Then there came the psychological trauma. He said that Maharishi was a liar. He wasn't going into the center anymore. He is then telephoned by the people who run the center and he is forced to go there under pressure. Even then he was sick. One experience we had: He was sitting in a dark room in the T.M. center, he said that there he wouldn't disturb anyone. A student of medicine who was a meditator rang me up and told me that I should watch my son, that my son had suicidal tendencies, that he should meditate less. Then he was sent to a psychiatric clinic. They couldn't help him. He got no help there because the doctors knew nothing about T.M. He was mentally under a lot of pressure after that because he said something about T.M. that he shouldn't have said and then just said - I'm not saying anything." (116)

"She had serious menstrual problems but said that that didn't mean anything, all women doing T.M. had that. She says, well, you don't have to tell me all about that, I'11 forget it until tomorrow. She says she has a vacuum in her head. The doctor diagnosed a metabolic disturbance. When she came back from her course in .... she herself wanted to see a doctor and moreover she kept on saying that she wanted her head investigated. We both sat in the back of the car, (on the way from a T.M. center to their home), she clung to me the whole way (her mother) and cried and couldn't calm down. She was experiencing a lot of fear as well; I had to sleep in her room." (I)

"She paints and hangs up the pictures of children - she spends her whole time in play." (1/48)

"He cries loudly, reads fairy tale books he had as a child, is jealous of his young niece, has become sluggish and can't take any pressure. The smallest strain finishes him." (1/48)

"She lost a great deal of weight, and had no doctor-care during the T.M. phase. She was given a certificate of inability to work by a doctor after they threw her out of Seelisburg. It was for a year. The doctor who examined her officially confirmed her absolute inability to work." (1/86)

"The doctor diagnosed a neurosis with schizophrenic traits - on one hand he had become very grown up as a result of the meditation, on the other hand quite helpless and was like a child." (1/87)

"On many occasions he had psychiatric treatment and was in psychiatric units - altogether more than 6 months. Today he's here at home and unable to work Every now and then he has to go in for treatment." (l/86_

"He said he had a demon in his body. It was wandering all over the house, he said, that comes from T.M. Whoever does T.M. doesn't need to sleep he was like a skeleton." (l/86)

"Both of my children had a lot of water in their bodies after the sidhi-course. No doctor could figure out where it came from - swollen legs, stomach and head. After they gave up T.M. it went away." (I)

"Depressions got a lot worse. Suicide tendencies became acute in the last two years. (3/87)

"Compulsive thoughts - afraid of people and experiences. I felt as though I were three years old, and behaved like that when I was alone." (2/87)

"Cried during the meditation, became delicate, got very sad and melancholy without any reason. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was depressed, and because of that I suppressed them. Later on the depressions became even more intensive, increased apathy." (2/87)

"I couldn't take the noise in the school anymore. I had the impression that someone was tearing away the skin from my soul; what I mean is that the protective layer around my spirit was gone, because of that I wanted to withdraw more into myself. My T.M. teacher and governor told me that that was only a passing phenomenon, that I should meditate more. I was told by various T.M. teachers that I had made great progress in a short space of time, that I actually had the ability to become a T.M. teacher - that was 6 months after my initiation." (2/87)

"Various ordinary meditators had to visit a doctor because of pain. The usual general recommendation was to sweep the body mentally. One girl was unable to stand because of unstressing." (2/87)

"I observed in my friend and T.M. teacher a nervous shaking, for instance in the dining hall the spoon would fall out of his hand while eating. He divided nature into the godly and the satanical. He became more and more dependent on T.M. He tried to stop T.M. and suffered heavy withdrawal symptoms like insomnia; he then got even more involved in T.M. because of that." (2/86)

4.6.5 "TRIGGERING-OFF" SITUATIONS FOR MENTAL ILLNESS

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