NOTE: This was my response to a somewhat typical e-mail from a current member who knew me from the time when I was a member and was saddened that I had left "because of my bad experience."

I replaced the name in order to protect the identity of the individual (so she doesn't get in trouble with her leaders for communicating with me).

At 11:07 AM 1/10/96 -0500, you wrote: >Hey Ingo, > >I used to know you in CARP. What happened to you?? And what in the world >are you doing now? I always wonder just how someone comes to this, and why >you feel the way you do. I don't want to fight, I just sincerely want to >understand the process of your thoughts. Send me some mail > >take care, MY RESPONSE: Hi!

It's nice to hear from you. Where or when did we meet? Were we on MFT together? How come you have time to be on the internet? Is it your mission?

Well, my story is a long story. I'm curious what you heard about it. Probably something like, "Oh. Ingo. Good brother. But he had problem with CF and got cained out. Now he's negative." It's so interesting to me how the leadership manages to perpetuate false stereotypes and information in order to discredit former members and "protect" present ones from them.

Before I tell you a small part of my story, I'd like to ask you to keep an open mind and refrain from simply putting me into a box and labeling me as you have been learned to do. (Like, "Oh-THAT's his problem. That's why he left! Too bad.") Hear me out, please, with a humble and prayerful heart. I don't want to fight, either. I want to communicate and I also would like to hear your thoughts. Let's talk about TRUTH, the Word of God, not our own doctrines. To believe something does not make it true. Not to believe something does not make it untrue.

Actually, when I walked away after selling out my flowers on Mother's Day, May 10th, 1992, I wasn't really negative at all. Although my leader, Mr. Yoshizumi, did physically and mentally abuse myself and the other members at our center, that was not the reason for my walking away. When I joined I made a commitment that I would never leave unless I was convinced that DP was not the truth and "Father" not the Messiah. As you probably know I was more than a dedicated member during my involvement - the typical German 150%. Well, witnessing to a sincere, humble Christian engineering student at the UIC campus in Chicago caused me to take a second look at what I had accepted and believed without critical analysis and cross-referencing to the Bible or outside sources 6 1/2 years earlier. (Because, being in the camp-K workshop environment, there just "happened" to be no opportunity to do so. And although I determined to do it later, as we were encouraged to do when we had questions or doubts, I never got to it because I was so busy working on my mission 18 to 22 hours a day. Also, by then I had accepted that any doubt or critical thought was merely an attack by satan intended to destroy my eternal spiritual life. (Sounds familiar?)

Well, after Lesly (the Christian guy) and I had prayed together and he had told me that he'd move into the CARP center if I could prove to him that the DP is true, I also told him of my conviction that if anyone could prove me wrong I would change my way and leave the church. He asked me if there was a contradiction between the DP and the Bible, to which authority would I hold. I was ready to say, "The DP." But then I realized that if there was real contradiction, the DP could not be true because God can't contradict himself.

Think about that for a minute. Remember the chart on page XX in the intro of Level 4?

New revelations of truth (offering, law, gospel, new revelation) were given according to man's spiritual level of understanding. They are deeper understandings of the same truth. But did you ever stop and think that they could not contradict each other if God and truth are eternal, absolute and unchanging? Could God contradict himself in a later revelation? Jesus did not contradict the scriptures of the OT. He only contradicted the manmade rules of the Pharisees.

So, realizing that if there was true contradiction the DP could not be true, I said, "The Bible - and if you can prove to that there IS a contradiction, I'll change my way." He did not, but he gave me a couple fliers and showed me some Bible verses that started me on my own investigation and prayer. I asked God to really show me the truth. Is it possible that DP is not true and that Rev. Moon is not the Messiah? Matthew 24:5 and Luke 21:8 warn, "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many." As I was selling my flowers that Mother's Day I sincerely kept praying to God, asking him to show me the truth, for I realized that to believe something does not make it true, and if Rev. Moon was not the Messiah I was following a false Messiah, misleading people (those I witnessed to) and actually going against God's will. If Rev. Moon wasn't the return of Jesus I was actually breaking Jesus' heart. Do you want to break Jesus' heart?

During that 3 day condition I set for myself God opened my eyes and it was like scales falling. I found SO MANY verses in the Bible that clearly contradicted the teachings of the DP. Finally, I committed my life to Jesus as my ONLY Lord and Savior. In that moment I had a spiritual experience: I saw a spiritual hand above my head that had been inducing fear and guilt in me for all those years in the movement ...being swooped away. An incredible energy and joy rushed into my body and I received a song I was humming and singing all day: "Jesus is my Lord, oh, Jesus is my Lord. Jesus is Lord over my life." (first verse only; there are more)

After selling out, returning all equipment and doing the books, I walked out, leaving a clear explanation of WHY I left. (Inspite of which the members of the CARP center were told I had been deprogrammed by this "evil Christian" and that the letters I wrote, like "I left CARP," were not from me. They were told not to even talk to him because he was satan. [Although I had just learned from my CF that, according to Heung Jin Nim, satan had been restored.])

By the way, that Sunday I made over $1500 by 4 PM just as I had prayed. All day I was filled with joy and praise of God because I felt he had delivered me from bondage. Jesus had paid for ALL of my sin by his death on the cross. I did not have to live an indemnity life, fundraising and witnessing in the worst of conditions to pay for my own sin and those of my ancestors. Have you ever felt, dear sister, that you wished you had "never found the truth - because it is so difficult to be saved and to be responsible for all of your ancestors and humanity?" Well, the Bible says it's not up to us to save ourselves ...OR the world. Jesus did that already and to be saved all we need to do is to accept Him and what he did for us on the cross. As the Bible states, "He (Jesus) is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them." [Heb 7:25] THAT's why it's called the GOOD NEWS! Salvation is a GIFT from God!

See also Heb 7:26-28: "Such a high priest meets our need--one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself.

For the law appoints as high priests men who are weak; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever."

The Bible also says that "This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." [Acts 1:11] It does NOT say a different person in the spirit and mission as Jesus, as was the case of John the Baptist (who came in the spirit and mission of Elijah [Luke 1]).

I know there is an argument for that from Unification viewpoint as well (I used to be a 7 day lecturer in CARP), but isn't that what satan did from the beginning of history - challenging the authority and believability of God's word? "Did God really say...?"

Think about it, dear sister, wouldn't it be the smartest scheme of satan to get righteous people who hate evil and want to follow God by giving them a "truth" that sounded just so good and true, except that it caused them to slowly but surely divert from the true work of salvation, the ultimate atonement of Jesus who paid for all of our sins and who is the one and only way to God [Acts 4:12 "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."]. Think about it. Whereas we first were taught that the people failed their responsibility, Rev. Moon, as you read in other speeches, taught that Jesus actually accomplished nothing and that he is unspeakably grateful for what "father" has done for him [if you want I'll get the direct quote for you if you've never seen or heard that!], completing his mission and even matching him. Wouldn't it be the smartest thing for satan to enslave people with a false teaching of works righteousness that caused them to slave away for "the cause" without pay or other compensation (such as health benefits etc.) expand his empire. The Bible, in contrast says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast." [Eph 2:8,9]

And how smart to "teach" people how to 'separate from satan' (with repentance in the name of "True Parents" and indemnity conditions) - when in reality the only way to truly separate from satan is to repent to GOD (not our CF in his place) and accept HIS forgiveness because of what JESUS did on the cross, not because of what WE did! When you do your indemnity conditions - do you really feel forgiven if you're honest with yourself? And even if you did, would that mean was true? Just because people have a spiritual experience of light and energy when they convert to Mormonism does that mean it true, that Joseph Smith is the only true prophet of God? Just because people have spiritual experiences when they accept Soko Asahara (the Aum Shinry Kyo group that used nerve gas in Tokyo) as the Messiah he claims to be - does that mean it's true?

The only ultimate way to measure spiritual truth is by the given word of God, the Bible. That's why God gave it to us. If the Bible does not have that authority, then the DP has even less, because it draws its authority FROM the Bible - and, as a matter of fact, then there is NO WAY to determine whether the claims of the other groups aren't true. What if Soko Asahara is the real Messiah? What if God gives you a revelation tonight ...are you ready to follow Asahara and bring about the end of the world by distributing sarin gas in subways? (Probably not because we have been taught that the only valid spiritual experiences are the ones that testify to Rev. Moon as the Messiah.) Think about it, Sister. Who determines which spiritual experiences are valid? Who decided or came up with the qualifications for the Messiah in the DP? Have you ever checked the parallels of history against history books and the Bible as we were taught we could do any time (and as I taught others)? Well, I have since leaving - and the dates are neither biblically nor historically correct. Remember this: If even ONE date is incorrect, even 30 or 40 years off, then Rev. Moon CANNOT be the Messiah according to the Principle! Just one example: The United Christian Kingdom from 800 - 920 AD according to DP (p. 403). According to my history book (The Timetables of History, B. Grun, Simon & Schuster), the Frankish empire of Charlemagne (="United Christian Kingdom according to DP) was devided 817 among his grandsons, and again in 843, with the Treaty of Verdun. That's a maximum of 43, NOT 120 years, as DP claims. That would make William McKinley, 25th President of the U.S., Messiah (77 years earlier than 1920).

And, just to give you ONE example of the Bible: Have you ever checked the 120 years of Noah's building the ark?

Gen 5:32 After Noah was 500 years old, he became father of Shem, Ham, and Japeth

[AFTER Noah had his sons, i.e. when he was 500+ years old, God told him,

"Make yourself an ark of cypress [Gen 6:14]."

Gene 8:13 By the first day of the first month of Noah's six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth.

Even if Noah had his sons one year after another, the time between his beginning to build the ark and the END of the flood would have been LESS THAN 99 YEARS! (Not 120 years! Think about what that does to the time line and "symbolic time identity" through the restoration of numbers!) Let me know if you'd like more info!

You see, I did NOT leave out of weakness or because I "just couldn't take it" but out of strength and conviction - like many others! And THAT's what the leaders don't want you to know, because it might mean that there ARE legitimate reasons for leaving the group.

Take off your "unification glasses for a moment" that make you interpret everything from the Unification viewpoint. Try to step back and look at yourself and the movement without bias, with a critical, neutral perspective. -

Do YOU think there are any legitimate reasons for leaving the group? What if God showed you that it's not the truth? Would you follow God or Rev. Moon?

As 1Chr 28:9 says, "the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you."

Well, sister, I didn't expect this to get this long, but perhaps it was God's spirit inspiring me to write to you. I know God loves you very much and if you seek Him sincerely with all of your heart, He WILL lead you. It's o.k. to have been deceived, but it's important to recognize it and to turn around, to act on it! This is between YOU and GOD - NOT you and your leader! If you tell him about your questions he'll find some vague answer or excuse ("You're not mature enough!" or "Go ahead! That's satan!" [=Reverse Psychology]) and he'll make sure you'll be too busy (paying indemnity, doing your mission) to think too much. He may even send you back to MFT or relocate you. Isn't it time to step back and take some inventory of you life, to think about your commitment to the group? If not now, WHEN are you going to do it? When are you EVER going to have enough time in the movement?

Remember, "False Christ's and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect--if that were possible." [Mat 24:24]

"For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve." [2Cor 11:13-15]

May God bless you on your spiritual path!


In Jesus' Name

Still your brother